when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
