listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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