And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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