If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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