so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
