They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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