the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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