yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
