Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
