Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
