omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
