are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
