You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
