these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
