if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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