I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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