So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
we made out on top of his cat.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
