Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
