Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
