Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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