I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
