The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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