Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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