shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
