i already hear my dad disowning me
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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