I faked an abortion last night.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
