hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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