so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
