covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
