Swine flu. Run for my life!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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