All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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