why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
