eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
