More tranny stories later!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Randomize
