saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My penis needs a shock collar
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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