I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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