Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize