hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
