By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
its liver damage thursday
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