He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She told me I should be a condom model.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
