it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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