he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
