Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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