she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Couch. On fire.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
