I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
