are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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