haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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