walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
