in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
two words: eviction party
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
