Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
