the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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