cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
