I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
