first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
