Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
