If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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