Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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