He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize