Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize