i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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