when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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