matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
