sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
