i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
this is an emotional support booty call
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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